RANSVESTIA

As you see, constant, everlasting criticism, but never in an an- noying way. Always so friendly and so well meant that I only became irritated once in a blue moon. And of course they always added: "It is for your own good you know."

Like heck it was. But it was an unequal struggle, if "struggle it can be called. Just when I was used to wearing nail polish and long, oval talons, Mrs. Rosalia would say, "Pretty earrings would look nice on you."

"So might a nosering... but I won't wear them," I muttered.

I was wrong again. Mrs. Rosalia brought a pair over and we could not hurt her feelings, could we? So I found myself wearing them ... every day and getting used to them... to the point that I felt nude without them. And of course... one's actions and movements are in certain ways controlled by the clothes one wears. Carmel had ap- parently loved high heels. She must have slept in them. Because of the oversupply, I found myself wearing them everday, also. It made me walk funny ... as did some of the tight skirts. That darn corset seemed to do something to my hips, also.

Several times I had caught the three women smiling at themselves and nodding with a significant grin when they saw me walk. To top it all off. Well that's not right, they don't go on top.... Mrs. Rosalia came with some awfully realistic falsies, steadfastly refusing to say which of her daughters had needed them. Well it seemed I just could not be without them, and from then on I sported a mature bosom that an 18-year-old girl would envy. But mother insisted and I hardly noticed how they made me carry myself differently. My shoulders were back my arms hung more loosely and away from my body. Of course, having no pockets seemed to do things to your arms, wrists and hands. Wearing clanking bracelets, pretty necklaces and ador- able little pins also performed their subtle changes on me. I even picked up things differently because of my longer nails.

And once all these physical alterations are gradually experienced and become a part of one, the mental changes cannot be far be- hind. Can they?

I almost automatically smiled sweetly whenever someone ad- dressed me, and I looked at them. I learned to lower my eyes submis- sively. No that's not true. I did not have to learn it. I just seemed to be more obedient and modest. As I seemed to become more passive, mother counterwise became much more strict with her "daughter." One day it finally dawned on me that I was being brought up and treated exactly like mother when she was my age.

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